Return to innocence

We all hear voices in our heads. Ok, I know what you’re thinking, but just hear me out. We hear the doubting voice, the overly critical voice, the voice that tells us to give into fear, the voice that says you are justified in your anger and victimhood. Then there comes in the softer voice acknowledging your strengths, your contributions, the you can do it voice, the ever-present cheerleader voice, the personal trainer voice, the guardian/guide voice that never shames. Some of the negative voices take on and even become personified by the players in our game of life – parents, teachers, kids we grew up with, the inner critic voice that our own voice has taken on. What I have learned in the last several years of working with adults, (some children as well), in my private practice is this: the voice of the inner child somewhere along the way gets silenced.

Some could say that that is simply a part of growing up. I beg to differ. To reach a healthy, balanced state of wholeness as adults, we need to acknowledge, nurture, heal and ultimately LOVE our inner child. A fascinating aspect of the state of hypnosis –deep relaxation with targeted focus – is that it allows the subconscious mind to bring forth in the here and now a visual experience of your relationship with your inner child. The child aspect of you that, in most cases I’ve dealt with, bore the brunt of trauma now manifesting in your adverse symptoms as an adult. Within the guided visualization, healing of the trauma can occur when the adult self recognizes and takes on the responsibility for caring for the needs of the inner child. So much of the beginnings of self-love happens here. The difficulty that many parents have is they think to be a good parent is to give their all –their time, money, attention, focus and energy to the child. This is distorted by the fact that most parents haven’t first done this work within themselves to be able to truly give of themselves to their children in healthy ways. If ever a child enters in as a client of mine, I know that this will involve parents who are in need of guidance and healing as well.

To truly honor the voice of the inner child one must shed many layers upon layers of distorted beliefs, (put upon by the wrong teachings), as well as energetic emotional baggage blocking true clarity. Working with Reiki –divinely guided life force energy – on myself and others has granted me a more balanced, focused, and clear perspective with which to assist clients, along with heightening my own intuitive abilities. Truth be told, a child’s perspective differs wildly from that of an adult, but in no way should it be less respected. Our perceptions as children form the basis of how we respond and interact with the world. As adults, this intertwines with our personality and becomes strongly embedded in who we are. The good news is, there is hope. Hope for healing and shifting distorted perceptions, yet honoring our inner child’s needs as we integrate into a unified, balanced self. This is an ever unfolding process for the trauma survivor; one that gets more and more beautiful the more it is embraced. When your inner child feels your love, acceptance, encouragement, validation, compassion, and presence you in turn, as the adult, resonate with these qualities and attract them from the external world.

The greatest gift we as parents can ever give our children is the gift of our own willingness to heal ourselves.

Kelly Cohee, MS, CRM, CH